


an infirmary affair

by WhtdUmeanthsNOvodka



Category: The Broken Earth Series - N. K. Jemisin
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhtdUmeanthsNOvodka/pseuds/WhtdUmeanthsNOvodka
Summary: Alabaster is fond of his doctor.Lerna doesn't know.Stage: end of FS, beginning of OG
Kudos: 1





	an infirmary affair

Alabaster is fond of his doctor.  
It amazes him, almost amuses him too that he is still capable of growing new fondness. But as He turns up behind the comm leader, it turns out Alabaster is not so dead inside after all.  
"You have a personal doctor now." She declares, "Although it will be easier for us all if you save Him the effort." He ignores her and eyes the doctor through the infirmary main space. _Well hello_.  
The young man looks down at him too, and nods as greeting. They examine each other for a while; He must be assessing his condition (pretty bad, he knows), and him His Everything: _not bad at all_.  
"We plan to stay longer than you like, I'm afraid." Finally Alabaster decides to respond properly for the first time, even with a smile, "We shall work on that together, no?"  
The doctor nods again. Then He turns to the comm leader: "Can I see your medicine stockings?"  
He looks like a delicate little bird.

"He is to your liking." Antimony throws a plain statement lightly.  
Alabaster looks up. _True. Observant. Thank you for respecting my privacy as always_. "Hmmm." Instead he replies.  
No need. They both know it: nothing good can happen in the shadow of his own creation.

The doctor's company benefits Alabaster more than His treatment. He enjoys the texture of Lerna's innocent hands on his skin when He gives him injection, although he can't actually sense it. Doesn't matter. He knows what it would be like. He knew what it would be like. When Lerna is here he secretly scans His face, and when He is off duty, he sesses Him from afar. Is it rude? Sure, but he has done much worse, so fuck ethics and let him have some fun.  
No wonder Antimony isn't bored stalking him. Observation can be a hobby.  
The scar on His jaw calls for fondling before his very eyes; those gorgeous Westcoaster lips scream loneliness too. When Lerna takes time to re-examine him, He triggers phantom limb pain on him. Or he just wants to touch Him too badly. His brain isn’t stone yet, for Earth’s sake.  
Lerna spies his stare and approaches closer to his face. "Are you alright? Can I give you anything?"  
Yes, skinship, please. "Thank you. You have done enough."  
And then he has to let Him walk away.

Lerna's gentleness oddly reminds him of a person he doesn't always want to think of. Their personalities are alike. To be with Him, Alabaster imagines, would feel like finding acceptance too, not to say such wonder could happen. Lerna treats him... normally, which is enough. Kindness, for him, is good enough. He has given up expecting more ages ago and wasn't surprised many times since then.  
He might try to seduce Lerna, if they were in a different time - a very different one, one that he isn't sure if is possible. He can't have that life. Maybe some other time, and with someone else. Maybe in the future people of his kind can freely put their feelings into action. Maybe.  
_Make rusting haste, Syen; I know you are at your fastest, but our time is running out_.

Alabaster keeps loosing more of himself to stone. Every bit of his own body becomes more painful, and more... disposable. He can't help being stinky and broken and dying, and, this matters to him, not appealing at all to Lerna; Antimony may be the only person who wants him still. Aware of his own appearance, he wants to avoid Lerna, but can't even manage that. All he could do is to at least feed himself to Antimony while He is away. Sometimes he worries what Syenite would think of him when she arrives. There isn't even much dignity left. Just, a purpose.  
_Hurry, Syen. In the end, I'd rather be with you_.

* * *

Lerna didn't think much of his patient at first.  
Alabaster doesn't talk, so Lerna leaves Him be. Ykka introduced Him as "a test for your value", but Lerna doesn't thinks she really cares whether He's dead or alive. He can't blame her. The man won't last very long with or without him.  
Too much has happened. He doesn't aim to save every life anymore.  
For months on the road he even thinks less often of Essun. Chances of meeting her again gets smaller and smaller. Yet recently he thinks of her again, and at times relates her to this dying man who is of her kind and fears whether what hurted Him so heavily could happen to Essun too.  
He wishes her to be here as well for her safety. But he wasn't waiting, nor expected her to be the person Alabaster is here for. He was happy at first, and then bitter.  
Lerna learns more about his patient now.  
That Essun calls him 'Baster. A nickname. They use nicknames.  
She calls Him an ass, and she knows how to deal with Him.  
And that they have had a child. And that they used to be lovers.  
He still has her company and attention. And that they are working together on something. Something orogeny so none of his business. Something that killed Alabaster and now Essun is going to do it too because He tells her to.  
Lerna finds himself still an outsider to her, but Alabaster is not. He is part of her. And soon, He will imprint her with His death, and she will never forget.  
He never liked Alabaster much but now he is almost angry at Him.  
He'd rather be Him.


End file.
